Xiu-Ying & Her Blog -- Animated Intro

 The intro to Xiu-Ying & Her Blog is finally complete!

Xiu-ying is in love with a mice burger

 

finally feeling better

 i told my friend about the friend that i had to leave. seemingly forever. 

i'm not in a hurry to see him again. 

my friend told me to let go of these toxic arbitrary types of people that i seem interested into, and to just relax a bit.

i was finally able to let go, and i am deeply grateful for that, so i'm glad that we met. thank you.

i feel like i have grieved enough. i don't need people to press my buttons, especially because i'm surprisingly self aware of just how sensitive i am.

Xiu-Ying & Her Blog: Episode 4

 Xiu-Ying once again found herself in front of her laptop.

A girl with light purple hair with pastel cotton candy colored highlights is walking around Shibuya.

She twitches her round curved black ears, as she holds her phone in an upwards direction, looking upwards at the camera.

She grabbed the tip of her multi-color dress, with a white hoodie that had a pink hairclip attached to the left side of it.

She let out a crowd-pleasing smile, that can deceive unknowing onlookers as completely genuine. It didn't matter to Xiu-ying, though because from her perspective, this girl is already fulfilling her goal of happiness.

"My mother recommended for me to watch influencers from where she's from.. but I can't stomach my feelings of inferiority..."

She gripped her stomach with nervousness.

"She's going outside in an elaborate coordinate with splices of her own style... and it's from a brand different from Cinnaheaven. Everything is in Chinese so I couldn't catch the name of the brand." she said with a frown.

"Even though most people could describe that dress as an experimental piece, it's actually very high crafted." she said with observant eyes, but that included a frown as well.

She grabbed the flower cushion and squeezed it to her stomach as she lamented a bit more. "Oh well. I heard that it's by pandas, for pandas.. it would be revolutionary if someone like me could wear the clothes.. but pandas are typically 3-4 feet, and I'm well over that. The measurements would be all wrong...!" her eyebrows furrowed upwards.

Suddenly, a light gleamed above her head.

"That's it! Why don't i just wear my own Cinnaheaven coordinate outside?! I can combine the pieces of clothes and accessories that i already have to make the most original outfit yet!" Xiu-ying said with a prideful yet a slightly nervous look.

She quickly went to work.

*The Pokemon B/W Biking theme plays*

She opened her closet, and grabbed the step stool inside. She went through boxes of accessories, some immediately broke once grabbing it. Yes, that's how much accessories she had collected over the years.

She compares the dresses that she had stored, to choose which one to go outside with.

This is what she had collected:

• A ruby colored ribbon watch
• A pink colored apron with a trio of ribbons escalating downwards
• A short-sleeve white shirt with pink plaid ribbons on the ending of the sleeves
• Striped grey and black leggings
• Light pink mary-janes with grey smiley faces on the buckles
• Japan tote bag

Xiu-Ying combines all of these elements together in an epic sequence. 

She stood in front of her full-body mirror with a surprised expression.

"Wow! Okay, let's do this!"

She shoots a peace sign under her left eye. "JOY IS INFINITE!"

---

*the song V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N by Yumi Yoshimura plays*

"Okay, I wonder what's the first place I'm going to!"

"Ah, I know! I should go out to get some stuffed mice pizza!"

Xiu-Ying happily skips to the local pizzeria.

She grabs a seat, tears the crust off and eats it first, as the crust is stuffed with mice tales. 

"Mmm~" she hummed to herself. "It literally, quite never, gets old!" 

Some people were staring at her, and Xiu-ying notices it at first, but then she just averts her eyes and continues to enjoy her meal.

"I'm not going to let some indecent people ruin my day.." she thought to herself.

"Speaking of which, I'm not going to ruin my special day by eating indecently..!"

*FLASHBACK*

"Okay all of you sly weasels.. we all love to eat, that much is true, but there is a certain matter of going about it!" said the weasel scouts leader. 

Little Xiu-Ying raised her paw in the air. "What do you mean, miss Stacey?"

"Well, when you are eating greasy foods, such as pizza, you must tuck a napkin inside of your shirt collar like so, to prevent any stains on our luxurious clothing!" she said with a self-righteous expression. She demonstrated it to the entire group of young girls who copied her, and Xiu-Ying followed suit.

*FLASHBACK ends*

A tissue magically appears within Xiu-Ying's shirt collar. "That sure was helpful to remember, despite the fact that I'm wearing an apron.." she thought to herself with a mini sweat drop down her cheek.

She rolled up the pizza into something like a burrito, and ate it happily while blushing. She used the same tissue to wipe her mouth.

She put a few 100 yen notes onto the tray and stood up, while someone says "arigatou!" to her as she leaves.

---

"Okay.. I had a nice meal, that wasn't exactly princess-worthy, but it's me-worthy, so it's good enough in that regard." she said with altogether - sleepy, happy, and hazy eyes.

"What else.. what else. Oh, I remember that my mother wanted me to pick up a few newspapers." she promptly grabbed a few newspapers. She looked at the papers and saw that there was nothing depressing to report on this day & it was incredibly colorful. "Hm, maybe I could use it as a background for my photos!" she gleefully said to herself before placing them in her tote bag.

"Okay.. that was simple.  I think that's it for now. Maybe I should take some photos to commemorate this special time~?" she smugly said to herself.

She sat down on a bench and took vertical and horizontal selfies of herself with various expressions with her portable camera. 

*a sudden applause could be heard behind her*

Xiu-ying almost dropped the camera on the ground if it weren't for the wrist strap. She impulsively turned around and said "who's there?!" while looking around anxiously.

A female deer emerged from the shadows. She continued to clap until she became closer in Xiu-Ying's vision.

"Ah. . . I didn't mean to startle you."

"Who are you?" Xiu-ying said with a sweat drop on her cheek.

"Uh.. hm.. how should I introduce myself?" she said while placing a hand on her chest, anxiously looking around before starting to blush subtly a bit.

'My name is Timia. I believe that your name is.. Xiu-Ying?" she said while slightly tilting her head to the right, with happy eyes.

"Uhhh.. how do you know this?!" Xiu-ying replied with a comedic surprised expression.

"Ah. Ahahahaha, I read your blog! I didn't expect to see you out here on this sunny day." Timia said, with a lighthearted yet awkward expression, paired with a grin.

"I see.." Xiu-ying also placed a hand on her chest a bit, catching her heart rate.

"Can I sit next to you?" Timia asked politely.

"Um.. sure!" Xiu-Ying said, still wearing that comedic shocked expression.

Timia patiently sat next to Xiu-Ying, and looked at her more closely.

"Oh my goodness! I just absolutely love your outfit!" Timia impulsively said as a heart-shaped arrow shot through her head, while grasping her hooves together.

"Why, thank you! Ehehe~" Xiu-ying replied while blushing happily.

The two started to talk some more before deciding to go their separate ways.

"Ah.. wait, if it's not too much to ask.. could I possibly be on your blog? That would be so cool to me!" Timia said, as she couldn't seem to hold back the fangirl tone in her voice.

"Umm.. sure, why not?" Xiu-ying said with a smile.

They both huddled together and took a selfie together.

"Okay, bye bye! I really need to head home now.." Xiu-ying said realistically.

"Oh, okay! It was nice meeting you! Bye-bye Xiu-ying!" Timia said with a happy expression. 

---

Xiu-ying rolled up to her laptop. "Okay, time to blog about today!"

"Dear diary,

Today was something like an adventure! I had my favorite food, pizza with stuffed mice crust (essentially, their tails are stuffed in the crust!) and ran some errands for my family! However, something surprising happened - I happened to meet a fan of my blog posts by chance and we took a selfie together! She was very kind and friendly to me! I also got her SNS information, so hopefully, here's to more conversations! <3"

She hit the publish button and that was about it!

"Ah, all in a day's work."

A short silence followed that statement.

"...I wonder if I could sleep in this?"

Xiu-Ying & Her Blog: Episode 3

"And done!" Xiu-Ying pressed a button on her laptop's keyboard and submitted the last blog entry for the day.

"I just wrote about what I have eaten, what i've done today, and other things!" she said with a smile, admittedly to herself.

Xiu-Ying started to stretch her arms outward a bit. "Now I could finally ree~lax!"

*beep*

She looked over to the notification button that was on the toolbar of her blog.

"A new message..!"

It read: "Hey, I suppose this is the original blogger that Smaine's blog is based off of, haha."

If this were to be a anime, a question mark sprouted horizontally from Xiu-Ying's temple.

"What does this mean? Who is Smarine anyway?" She curiously typed in "Smarine.froggy.com" onto the url bar of her computer.

What she saw was basically a feeling if her own original blog got somehow cloned.

There was lace surrounding the borders of the blog just like hers.. a cute border that showed the face of the blogger who's name is apparently Shermaine.. and she's from.. Shenai?

Something about this page overall just felt incredibly insulting and disingenuous to Xiu-Ying.. genuinely. She wondered if it was possible to copyclaim it due to it being heavily inspired, but unfortunately (she had searched this up prior) there was no copyright laws surrounding blog designs. 

"I don't know how that anonmouse person found my page, but they weren't exactly wrong in the least." she said to herself, starting to grit her teeth in annoyance. You wouldn't want to mess with her teeth.. they're quite sharp and pointy.

"Oh, there seems to be a new post today.. let's see how Smarine writes.. surely it has to come from the heart, right?"

"Dearest Diary,

Today I just tried mice pizza. It was okay, I bet I would've enjoyed it more if the crust stuffed with their tails didn't get stuck in my throat!! 🐹

Otherwise, it was very chewy and interesting. I had to miss 𖧋𖧋𖧋𖧋𖧋𖧋𖧋 class today because it had upset my stomach.

That's all, my dearest friends!

Bye-bye~! ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)✨"

"Is her heart located in the third ring of hell or something??!?!" Xiu-Ying couldn't help but shout at the screen by herself.

"Not only did we happen to go to the same pizza restaurant in the same day, but she ate something intentionally that made her ill?!" 

"I-isn't she a guinea pig as well? Not to be discriminatory or anything, b-but that's like eating your third cousin or something..!!" she said with a fearful expression.

"Geez.. why is she doing this to herself? I know that anyone would be willing to do anything in order to gain fame, but this is a bit too much!" her expression now changed to a tired yet easy-going expression.

"It's annoying that her blog theme has the same color themes as mine.. black and various hues of pink, with white highlights.. the only thing new is the ocean thematic.. most likely referring to the fact that her name has "Marine" in it." 

Xiu-Ying squinted at the profile picture for the blog. 

"WHAT THE [censored], SHE'S WEARING A SAILOR UNIFORM THERE TOO! JUST LIKE ME!"

She leaned back in her chair for a minute.

"I don't know how I'm going to keep writing original content if someone is just going to replicate it exactly.. and even worse, gain more of a following than I do.. the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, but the tree was almost purposefully sprayed with invisible ink, or something.." she muttered to herself.

She sat back up. "I honestly wouldn't be too hard on her, and I would've just recognized her as a fan of me, if she didn't eat the same meal as me and managed to get sick from it. Am I really that influential?" she said with a tired, yet worrisome expression.

Xiu-ying noticed the sunglasses near her desk and placed them over her eyes. "It's time to do some.. investigation."

*Deja Vu by Initial D plays*

Xiu-ying speedily typed in Shermarine's username into her browser's search bar. She had realized that she'd also brought a dress from the same set from Cinnaheaven's newest line, and copied her poses and the background almost exactly! 

She zoomed into the camera model she was holding. 

"This is almost the exact color of my camera, just in a hot pink!!"

Xiu-Ying felt her eyes turn into flaming balls of fire, but she backed up from the screen a bit and composed herself. 

"Ok... she censored the class that she was taking, so I can't really estimate how old she is. That's fine."

She pushed the sunglasses up on her head. "Okay... so I have a copy-cat here. It would be more of a bigger problem if I was accepted to Adthought, but I wasn't.. and somehow.."

*glare*

*A advertisement for sun screen is underneath the blog post.

"she did."

Xiu-Ying sighed while looking upwards. Her stomach growled. 

"Oh bamboo shoots.. I need to have something else to eat, before I faint from the heat of my rage." she said while having mini flames in her irises.

---

Xiu-Ying is at the supermarket, shopping for some groceries. She heads to the meat section, and places her paw near the boxed mice container, that was pastel themed for February - the month of love. The ribbons on the mice's necks laminated a bright red, but nevermind that. Her paws met with someone else's more smaller, yet a mature-looking paw by complete accident.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" exclaimed Xiu-Ying.

"No no no, forgive me, haha." said the short guinea pig. 

They awkwardly stared in each other's eyes, wondering who was going to make the next move, for a few moments.

"I was actually picking these up for my daughter. I honestly prefer the vegan alternatives of these..!"

"Oh?" replied Xiu-ying, with a open minded and curious expression.

"Mm-mhm. Even though it keeps making her sick, she insists on getting these.. and I find it really hard to deny her of what she wants in life."

Xiu-ying's expression changed to a subtly distressed one.

"Say.. does your daughter's name begin with a S by any chance..?"

"..Why yes! How did you figure that out? Are you a physic by any chance? Oh, when is the next meteor shower going to happen? I ought to know!" replied Shermaine's mother with a surprised expression. Even though her eyeballs are small, they expanded enough to show an element of surprise within her. 

"Uhm, no. Haha, you see, a fan of mine had told me that Shermaine's -- believing this is the same person aha, -- blog, is very similar to mine. She just wrote about having stuffed mice pizza today, but exposed the fact that she became sick from it." replied Xiu-ying, starting to sweat with a hint of nervousness.

"Ohh.. well of course she'd start a blog without letting either parent know. Yes, that is her name! I wonder why she needs a blog.. we know almost exactly everything she's doing at any time, ahahaha." Shermaine's mother said with a light-hearted expression.

Ignoring the creepy feeling she got from that statement, Xiu-Ying reached for the boxed mice and put it under her arm.

"The name's Nina." Shermaine's mother said.

"Why don't we talk about this over at the nearby cafe?" she added on with a translucent kind expression.

"Um.. okay, sure!" Xiu-ying responded before walking off with her.

---

"So.. Shermaine has been writing on this blog, you say? Her father and I are going to have to give her a stern talking to..." Nina said, while looking at herself in the compact hand mirror she owned.

"Yeah... I wonder how old is she if she's not allowed to have a blog on her own?"

"Well, she just turned 17. Despite her young age, we let her attend Pawprints Academy on her own to study tourism. Her grades.. are neutral at best, to say the least, but she keeps saying this is her favorite thing in the world to do, so we just keep paying the tuition.. I hope she can pass a class again, soon, if it's even possible at this point.." she sighed after ending her sentence. "I might've said too much on my part.. forgive me on that note." Nina said while looking into Xiu-Ying's eyes.

"Ah.. no, you're okay. I didn't know about all of those things about Shermaine. Can you tell me a bit more about her? I'm just curious as to why she thinks she must, imitate others, even at 17." Xiu-ying said with a curious yet subtly worried expression.

"Well.. growing up, she never really felt like she was enough, to be honest. Due to that feeling of inadequacy, she also felt that she never had enough either, even though she has two loving parents who wouldn't trade the world for her. So we've been trying to cheer her up for years by getting everything that she asks for, despite it not even being in a polite and orderly matter.. and if we don't, we fear that our tiny abode will be destroyed in less than a year's time." Nina spoke with a stressed expression, with temporarily resting eyes.

"Destroyed..?" Xiu-ying questioned, also mirroring the stress in Nina's face, a bit.

"Yup. She has broken countless things in her room, and she's been gnawing on the wallpaper all over the house as well. What doctors have told me ranged from a stress reaction, to frustration. We don't know how to help her other than giving her what she asks for, and that keeps her distracted and happy for some time." Nina said while looking down at her expression within the mirror, before closing it. 

"I see. Wow." Xiu-ying replied with a surprised and saddened expression.

"I suppose I should let go of her copying me, but for some reason, I can't. I mean, she almost got herself hospitalized trying to be like me. It's not that I'm trying to do anything dangerous, I'm really just trying to live my life, and I hate to worry you folks." Xiu-Ying said with a gloomy expression, with a cloud starting to form above her head.

"Well, is there anything that you'd like to communicate to her?" Nina asked.

"..Even if you don't feel like you are enough, trying your best to be true and honest to yourself will spread the light to the path of feeling adequate.. because maybe all you need to realize is that you just need yourself." Xiu-ying said while looking down at the table.

"It's hard enough for one person to be theirselves in this cruel world where people can feel like they should be molded to fit into other people's expectations, and plagiarizing someone else's journey is not a shortcut to success of avoiding that fate." the weasel said while closing her eyes.

Nina stopped for a second and just looked at her with a serious expression.

"Very well said. I will try to transfer your message to her. Thank you for your time." she said, before getting up to leave with no hesitation. 

Before Xiu-ying could even react, all she could do is watch her leave the cafe. She left Xiu-ying with herself.

---

A few days have passed after Xiu-Ying had spoken to Shermaine's mother in the local cafe.

Xiu-Ying has tried her best to not really keep tabs on her page, because that would be a bit creepy, she thought, especially since she was younger than her.

For curiosity's sake, she visited SMarine's page again to see how it was doing, one more time before she'd remove it from her Bookmarks folder.

A new blog post met her eyes. It was only one line long.

"Hello everyone. I have chosen to stop blogging permanently, because I have learnt that it is better to create from my heart than what I see. Thank you."

"Huh.. even though it's short, it's awfully poetic." Xiu-Ying thought to herself.

"So.. I guess her shenanigans are over? Hopefully she'll stop giving her mother such a hard time." 

She slowly closed the laptop. 

"I have to cope better with admirers more, regardless if it's a secret or public one, before I pass away from a stress-induced headache. Well, I think it's best I get to bed now."

Dear Friend

 Do you even remember your past? Those days when you played Animal Crossing: New Leaf and Metal Gear. I used to think you were so kind, cute and cool for playing all of those games. Do you remember all of those summer, fall and winter nights that we spent staying up talking to each other about whatever, but most importantly about cute guys and whatever? I guess I am somewhat the cruel one, because all of my memories from 2016 and onward were wiped. I was doing it for protection, after a sensation of being stalked. I hope that you can remember those days. It feels like the person you once was, got wiped away forever, and the save data is forever lost. You became more harsher at times, and more abrasive. You tried your best to be a good rolemodel for me, considering how much older you used to be. I missed who you used to be. You might think I might be blinded by nostalgia, or even projecting a wish on how I hoped for you to be like, but I just hope that you remember those days. I'm just scared what color hue is it colored now.

Thank you for giving me the time of day.

Love, RIPChiaki 

my animation: squash & stretch

 Created on January 12, 2024

Xiu-Ying & Her Blog: Episode 2

 Xiu-Ying sat in front of her laptop browsing through the big lists of blogs that have inspired her before and motivated her enough to make the move to start one of her own. Sewing, self-publishing, recipe blogs -- One thing they all had in common was that they had various amounts of advertisements scattered around their beautiful and unique pages.

"So, I suppose they're getting paid for their passion project, hm?" Xiu-Ying thought to herself. She didn't need to think twice if this should be a commitment for her, it was settled within her heart and mind that she'd be writing for a long time. She wouldn't mind revisiting those rushing emotions that she experienced when she was writing her very first public diary entry. Describing the fabric, and how it hugged her petite yet slender body. 

Even though her blog is quite literally.. 6 hours old, she believed that there would be no harm in trying to apply for Adthought -- the service that applies advertisements to your blog, and you literally get paid everytime you write, with a limit of a few thousand unique words of course. 

She put in her personal information, such as her full name, address, and email address in order for it to process with ease. Now all she has to do is just wait.

Ding!

"Woah, that was quick." Xiu-Ying had proclaimed to herself as she clicked on the new notification on the computer. 

"From Adthought.." 

"I have to check this immediately!" She thought to herself.

"You have been rejected for Adthought."

Xiu-Ying's face quickly broke into a disappointed and surprised one, but any observer could find the humor within it.

"WHAT...? How could they reject me so quickly, I had literally just applied..!!"

Xiu-Ying grabs a flower cushion on her bed and goes to lay down. While embracing the cushion, she thought to herself.. "This isn't good. What if I were to get really into blogging? Is the gratification from just publishing a post more than receiving a paycheck for it at the end of the week?"

She squeezed the cushion tight and winced her eyes with the same tightness as well, as she didn't want to lose the passion for her blog posts.

Xiu-Ying looked at the Cinnaheaven uniform that was now hanging up on her closet. 

"It's not that the experience of me wearing those incredible clothes were underwhelming.. maybe I just need more variety in what I write about for now on, besides Cinnaheaven clothing..!"

She got up and put the cushion to her side.

"Okay. If Adthought doesn't want me.. then that's ok!"

Her fist naturally balled as she experienced a determined emotion. 

"I know that I want my posts to be around, and I have many more interests besides adorable clothing, so let's get writing!!"

The tip of her tail wagged a bit cheerfully.

She looked around her room, such as the bookshelves, desk, and posters and gathered her thoughts on what she could start to write about.

She let out a long sigh before retreating to the comfy abode otherwise known as her bed, once again.

"It'll all come to me naturally, like a summer breeze in the midst of July." she said to herself.

She briefly yawned before getting in the fetal position, in a comfortable sense. 

"I'm sure me, myself and my future audience will deeply enjoy whatever I write about.. so I just need to relax."

She leaned her head back on a nearby pillow, and quickly dozed off to sleep.

My honest-to-god opinions on high guardian spice (Episode 1)

Hiya.

I'm finally watching this show that everyone in the world, and their dog seems to hate so much.

I never really hated it nor understood the hatred directed towards the show, to be honest. The art style seemed simple and cute but not overbearing in that nature, and it was really understandable, to see what they were going for.

These were my exact thoughts I had the moment I started the first episode: the voice acting isn't horrible and actually comforts me. It has the right amount of pacing that I expected MLP G4 to have.

No, I'm not writing this to just feel special as if I'm the only one in the world who doesn't hate this show. I wanted to express my opinion on it just like how everyone else is.

Looking at the pink haired girl, it looks like they managed to make Madoka's design, even cuter.

So far this show feels like a beautiful mixture of Madoka Magica and Little Witch Academia. Let's do this. This is my thoughts on the first episode.. so yeah. 

I think so far I adore this show because it reminds me of my own characters, concept and writing? You might say to yourself, "oh don't insult yourself like that" but my work has been critiqued before, pretty harshly. I strongly believe all of the hatred towards this show is due to the show's art style, it doesn't look like another generic anime with 4K lighting and whatnot. 

When Rosemary hugged her family for being so proud of her for getting into what seems to be a academy of her choice.. I couldn't help but maybe wanting to cry myself due to how precious and wholesome that scene was. I feel as though that maybe I finally found the perfect show for me in a sense. It was comforting in the right ways without trying to force it onto me, like Steven Universe trying so fucking hard to be objectively comforting and all and it just came off so forced.

The dialogue is a bit too direct, that it starts to come off as a children's show, but it's okay. I see no problem with it, so far. 

I really love seeing the details from far away and etc. It's actually motivating me to create some animations, finally 0.0 

Not aggretsuko, not animation masterpieces, but high guardian spice is. that's a green flag in my book.

I feel like a lot of the haters that attack this show are like, cruel because they simply are probably super out of touch on how it's like to create animations, character designs and other similar aspects. Oddly enough, this show gives me a bit of hope too. For myself.

It's funny how this show with such a small fanbase had made me incredibly happy in it's first few seconds. It changed one person's life, and that was me. I can' wait to just watch more and more of it. The friendship between the pink haired and blue haired girl (so what if it was inspired by madoka magica?) reminds me of the friendship I had with my best friend in middle school. Also, Rosemary's sword is so sick hahaha >w<

Sometimes I feel like it's really difficult to find a art style, so the art style reminds me of some of my earliest work as a artist as well, but it's not a bad thing, as beauty is in the eye of the beholder and everything. The backgrounds are exceptional and phenomenal as well. Wow!

It honestly physically hurts me to hear people not like this show. The introduction theme is amazing, my jaw fell down and it's so comforting and amazing. It sounds similar to songs from the past, like the 2000s, but it manages to have it's own identity, somehow. I wanna see more! >w<

OMG THE BLUE HAIRED GIRL AND ROSEMARY ARE HOLDING HANDS. HOW ADORABLE IS THAT? I can't believe I might be starting to ship them, but I don't really know how old they are. This is a LGBTQ+ couple I could actually see myself shipping that doesn't feel forced (cough cough, Steven Universe). I also like how there's not really much of a reaction from the blue-haired girl from Rosemary saying they'd sit on each other's laps at the same time.

I kind of find it funny how I don't enjoy Amphibia and the Owl House, but immediately fell in love with High Guardian Spice. The graphics are amazing EEE (I mean the backgrounds hahahahahha)

he reason why I was so hesitant to look at the show until now is because I didn't want to fall in love with it too hard.

This story is like super similar to this story I was writing in middle school, that I suppose got lost to the universe or something, I wrote it in 2018, lol.

The mean dark-skinned girl is not really evil for no reason... it's a realistic view of negativity.

Just found out the blue-haired girl's name is Sage!

Of course the pink haired girl likes strawberries, haha. I forgot if Madoka likes them.

I do appreciate how PDA is shown between possible couples that show that there might be a minor romantic connection between two characters subtly, instead of something that's like, too prominent in a view like in Steven Universe.

I have a feeling that there could be some inspiration from SU, since Rosemary finds her mother's sword precious, just like how (spoilers) Steven views his mother's sword precious as well.

My friend was obsessed with MLP. I think I found my MLP, lol.

Creature character designs are good good good!! :0

These creatures definitely aren't stupid, they are aweesoome! :3

Rosemary is if Madoka was a hilarious goof ball xD

Watching this show helps me realize that the world is more bigger than the depressing internet once again. Sometimes it feels like the negativity is overwhelming but that's just like, an illusion. It's all about perception and how it can change over time. -w-

I like how the story builds emotional aspects, although Rosie seems to move on from the necklace a bit too quickly. Ironically enough, just adding a bit more seconds BEFORE her rebuttal could help the scene feel a bit more fluent.

Sometimes I feel like the mixing needs a bit more work, as some voices overlap.

The ending is adorable, although the song feels a bit amateur-ish.

I don't know how old the characters are.. but I'm starting to wish I had the same opportunities of happiness that the characters get to experience. Oh well, i'll just keep on watching..

Thanks for reading this

Rating: 5/5

.: ❀ xiu-ying organization ❀ :.

 If I were to make it a comic:

Pros

- Easier to produce

- Fun to color

Cons

- Can be tedious

- Oversaturation can happen

If I were to make it a animation:

Pros

- fluent

- it's easier to understand the characters

- leaves room for a lot of interesting storytelling

Cons

- idk if i'll have the energy to animate something consistent and satisfactory 

It may be an animation, then. I can't wait to script it.

Production order:

Script writing -> Audio recording + adding sound effects -> animation -> add BGM

what's holding me back from creating animations?

• easily feeling overwhelmed, most likely due to the surface of the workspace
• easily discouraged (thanks to my mom always underestimating me what i can do in art)
• worried how people will perceive it (i'm always willing to improve but it's hard to take criticism if i'm absolutely sastified with my work)
• old habits of rushing (i really want to take my time for now on)
• fear of experimenting (it comes with patience)

I'll steadily tackle all of these things at once fairly shortly

basic structure of the story (overall, NOT a episode)

1. Exposition: ✅ 

• Xiu-Ying starts her blog✅
• She tries to get ad revenue, but can't, so she lets it go and realizes it would be better if she just writes for herself and any other curious soul who wants to pop in✅

2. Conflict:

• There is someone out there in Shenai who seems to be copying everything that Xiu-Ying is doing, action-by-action and word-for-word, even getting sick a couple of times as she tries her best to replicate her actions. Her name is Shermaine. This person believes that Xiu-Ying's life is incredibly easy, so she tries to copy her way of living the best way possible and tries to depict her imitation of Xiu-Ying as a ultimate perfect life, which insults Xiu-Ying a lot, and leads to a confrontation. Later on, Xiu-Ying discovers the age of the Shenainese girl and she discovers she is a bit younger than her, but she eventually learns a lesson to not copy people. Xiu-Ying can finally relax after this.✅
• Xiu-Ying challenges herself to go outside in one of her elaborate, precious coordinates. She remembers the polite mannerism lessons she learnt in Weasel Scouts and uses those skills intelligently to prevent any stains on her clothes. After a lone photoshoot, she hears someone applauding her from the sidelines. It turns out that it's a reader of her works..!✅
• There is a blind hater on every one of Xiu-Ying's post that spawned around the time that Xiu-Ying was feeling absolutely apathetic. The challenge is that her mother recommends her to delete her website entirely, or confront the idiots who are trying to tear Xiu-Ying's happy place down. At first, she chooses to ignore it but the blind insults hurled at her become so overwhelming she falls down into a deep depression. She remembers in Weasel Scouts, a lesson about standing up for herself, so she tries, but the haters are still persisting. She ends up crying and takes a short break from it, while writing ideas for future entries on her phone. Timia encourages her to not give up on her dream as she consoles her physically by rubbing her back. Even though Timia tells her that it's one of the traits of being popular, she shouldn't let this tragedy drown out her desire to feel like she is part of something bigger than what she is - part of the world itself.

3. Rising Action:

• Xiu-Ying and Timia become good friends, which gives her a lot of ideas to blog about. Since Timia knows a fair amount about Xiu-Ying on her blog/public diary, she agrees to invite Xiu-Ying to her college dorm, where Xiu-Ying discovers that Timia is a proud lesbian and a otaku, which surprises her a lot, to the point where her legs collapse, but not in a negative sense.
• Xiu-Ying and Timia grow closer to each other, and Xiu-Ying chooses to take a break over the weekend to stay over Timia's place. (Yes, they happen to sleep in the same bed, that's a bunk bed, don't worry.. and her dorm room mate was in the moment of being switched, that's why the bed is free.)

4. Climax:

• Xiu-Ying surpasses her goal of 100 followers, with over 50,000 followers, and over 500k general views on her blog, after one of her posts going out with Timia goes viral. This is because Ranka was going on a public outrage full of envy that Xiu-Ying has friends to go out with, and that they manage to be interested in more fashion subgenres than Jirai Kei, leading in more of a variety of posts than her.
• Timia goes to confront Ranka about this, because the controversy gives Xiu-Ying a bad headache and she chooses to sleep in a bit more before writing a whole post acknowledging that.
• Ranka tries to kidnap Timia to force her to hang out with her, and when Timia tells her that it'll basically never happens, she traps Timia in a abandoned well. Xiu-Ying saves the day by releasing her container full of live mice at Ranka when she sees her livestreaming without a care in a world and interrogates her to tell her where Timia is. Ranka is cancelled online, and she cannot blog anymore because she's in jail, forever.

5. Falling Action:

• Now that Xiu-Ying had eliminated the competition through logic and complete accident at times, she could finally enjoy her fame with Timia. 
• Xiu-Ying feels exhausted trying to catch up on all the new releases from Cinnaheaven, the fashion brand to keep up with the trends to be an active blog. Timia realizes that she doesn't want to lose the passion of her writing, and Timia has a hobby of sewing from her high school days, so they decide to create a small bouquet to sew original clothing together.
• Eventually, school and their sewing project becomes the main priority, and even though the blog is really precious to Xiu-Ying, she cannot update it anymore.

6. Resolution:

• Xiu-Ying feels like she has outgrown blogging about her life a bit, but will forever remember the memories that were made thanks to her idea of starting a blog. She feels comfortable enough to write entries privately.
• The show ends with her deleting the blog, while having a photo album of her memories next to her as she clicks the button. Also, this makes it easier to watch the series on repeat.

Possible ideas

- Xiu-Ying had a problem with total population elimination when she was a weasel scout. it's a known fact that weasels have a tendency to kill more than they eat, and they rely on those leftovers, but xiu-ying often went the most overboard in her childhood.

Xiu-Ying & Her Blog: Episode 1

 Her pointed ears twitched as her paws clacked away on the keyboard of her ruby pink laptop. She moved the cursor via the trackpad to click on a button that read, "Create". 

"And.. done!" she said to herself, in her minimalistic peach colored room, with only a few pink artifacts within the surroundings of the room. 

She had a toothy grin that exposed her two fangs as she had just created her very first blog. 

"I always wanted to have something like an online diary.." she said to herself. 

"So many things happen in my day-to-day.. like going to school and experiencing the strangest of things, the mis-adventures as I'm running late for class.. and nonsense that the gods put me through during my time online."

She remembered when one of her sausage octopuses had suddenly squirted hot.. sausage oil at her somehow, it turns out that it was still so hot from being prepared extremely recently that the oil squirted towards her direction. 

Unfortunately, Xiu-Ying had always been alone during her time at school, due to her tall stature at times, but she recognized the benefits of it along with disadvantages. Her height didn't get in the way of one of her hobbies, dressing up in Japanese fashion. Fortunately for her, she had a medium-sized walk-in closet full of various colorful clothings from different brands all across one of her home countries - Japan. Even though her mother is Chinese, her father is Japanese and Scottish, and she identifies with her father's side the most due to him taking his time sewing new pieces of clothing together with her during her childhood, while her mother was busy at work being a nurse overseas. Xiu-Ying had grown up in Japan, and is still living there. 

Her father informed her that she'd be moving to America soon, but she can't imagine herself having an new identity that's not related to Japan at all. How would she be American? How do Americans even dress theirselves? She felt like she couldn't confide in her parents' perspectives because she believes that they would think she is thinking in a limited fashion. 

"Not only can I write about my daily life.. but I could archive these days before my big move to America." she thought to herself, as she subtly wagged her tail. 

She smiled with another toothy grin near the circular mirror near her laptop, to prepare herself to take a photo of herself for her blog, as there was nothing to be shameful about, and she's sure that her future readers would want her to be happy. 

Snap!

She used her phone to upload it onto her newest website. She had curled her hair the moment before in her standard hairstyle that she always had done for school in the mornings. There was no dress-code regarding hairstyles~♪" she had always hummed to herself, while curling her hair as she locked eye contact with herself in the mirror. 

She always used to take selfies after her hairstyle was done, in her school uniform to admire her hard work, even if it took less than 10 minutes.. and she was always wearin the same clothing most of the time in these photos. She finally had somewhere to store them, now. 

One time she was walking to school when one of her classmates came up to her and said that her hair looked like a vertical infinite symbol. Xiu-Ying didn't really know what to say, but she remembered that doing her hair like this made her deeply happy inside, as it helped her stand out a bit from her other classmates, so all she could do was shoot up a peace sign and say "well, Joy is infinite~!" with her signature toothy smile. Even though she had received some awkward stares and question marks coming from the empty-minded individuals of the school, she didn't let it rain on her parade. Those reactions didn't spark a happy face from the people surrounding her though, which left some room for Xiu-Ying to feel a bit awkward. 

Now that her perfect blog was prepared, she tried to think of how she can prepare herself for America and it's people. She was just an ordinary person, living her life through the motions of the days quite simply. Not a super famous pop star or something. 

Her father always encouraged her to be in the spotlight, but Xiu-Ying tended to cower behind large building structures with her tail between her legs, not wanting to be the center of attention, even though inside, she deeply appreciated her father's gestures. Her father's name is Chester. 

So Xiu-Ying starting a public blog was the step in the right direction for some self confidence, and motivation to not be afraid to show her true self to the world,  no matter what cruel people could say or do to her. No matter what, she was still herself, and that is inherently invaluable.

Xiu-Ying's mother had always told her to never underestimate the value of being herself and being truly honest in life, whenever you are in an easy chapter or a quarreling chapter with the universe and it's gods. Xiu-Ying never really disliked, let alone hated herself. She was just struggling with the fact that she never really had many friends, and was always alone for some reason. She knew she had a lot of redeeming qualities, as she was a part of the Weasel Scouts growing up, that re-affirmed her confidence in her abilities and personal values - to be kind, that generosity was not a sin, along with other similar themes & lessons.

Still, she had built herself up to stand confidently in this bustling and ever-changing world, so why not log her days around, somewhere? It was during that chapter of her life, although a closed one that she realized that she had an inherit value, that's just within being yourself. Even though every person she met during those days had faded into the backdrop and never really lingered long enough to be her long term friend, she had realized that she can be of value to other people too, without necessarily being exploited in any sense of the word.

So, these were all of her motivations to start blogging. She could finally log the aspects of her not-so-ordinary days onto the internet, forever immortalized for one curious person or two to view. 

Xiu-Ying had always admired J-fashion because it expanded her understanding of colors and herself deep inside. Being born with snow-white pale fur and pastel pink ear fillings with dark highlights throughout her paw beans and the tip of her tail, she always thought she lacked some variety in her personal color wheel compared to other peers, even though that could be somewhat of a cruel comparison. 

Still, it was her personality and her soul that gave her the pride to be herself and be happy for it, not necessarily her appearance. 

She remembered a book that her mother gifted to her one birthday event, where you could decorate a plain looking girl with all sorts of stylish and flashy, elaborate clothes. She saw herself inside the ordinary girl, because that's all her mother ever wanted her to be. No one having the best time of her life. If anyone had advocated for Xiu-Ying's happiness the most, it was her father and herself. Xiu-Ying's mother wanted her to fall within a recognizable binary, nothing that stands out, even if it's inherit value is on display. Of course, there are both pros and cons to living such a life, but Xiu-Ying wasn't having it. Especially because she barely fit in social circles her entire life, and was always the odd one out. Wearing "flashy" clothing isn't to highlight how much she feels excluded, but being included helps her feel like she's validating her true value inside and she's included with a group of other people who know very well their own worth.

Xiu-Ying sat at her desk, looking down at the keyboard whose keys were highlighted with a white hue, inside and outwards, with her paws on her cheeks and elbows on the desk, wondering what her very first blog post could be about. It couldn't be just her face, being the entirety of a post. 

She then got an idea.

For her 12th birthday, she was able to purchase a gift for herself through the savings her father gave her throughout the months -- a Cinnheaven uniform coordinate. It caused a lot of pretty yen coins, like a lot.. but she was finally able to fulfill that personal dream of wearing something like that someday. 

She couldn't record her Japanese fashion journey from the very beginning, because she had been experimenting since primary school. Wearing her sailor school uniform top with designer skirts that were made for a casual loungewear, and taking photos with a micro camera that she got for her 9th birthday. She knew how adorable her sailor top was, so of course she'd try to experiment with the design of it paired with other clothing articles. 

She had never really owned anything elaborate before compared to this Cinnheaven pre-made coordinate. She took her time dressing up in it, and then stood in front of her full-length mirror. 

She could only make noises of surprise and arousal. "Wow.. I really look like a.. Cinnheaven princess!" she thought, as she twirled around and looked at herself in the mirror, while wagging the tip of her tail, an action fueled by pure excitement, gratitude and glee.

"Thank you kamisamas for blessing me with this outfit.." she said with a single tear scrolling down her right eye.

She looked at her face in the mirror and felt as though her face is a bit plain, since this outfit made her look even more than spectacular. She pulled out her makeup kit and carefully did a winged eye look, not necessarily in an amateur fashion because she practiced it many times before for family outings, and placed some purple blush on her cheeks. 

She genuinely blushed a hue of light pink underneath the manufactured purple blush of her cheeks.

"GYAAAAH, I LOOK SO CUTE!" she said as micro hearts spawned out of her body. 

"Welp, I suppose it's time to take some selfies, now!" she said to herself as she prepared her micro camera ready for photos. She held it vertical and sideways in all sorts of angles, but she always maintained a neutral expression because she believed that just being was the prettiest. She also didn't want to lie to the camera. 

"I promise to myself, that hopefully I won't find myself lying to my fans on my blog, no matter how bad I feel because they are all here for me." she said in the camera lens. She took one more photo before resting the camera down on her desk, not wanting to change out of this elaborate coordinate at all. 

"Well, now that's done.. I suppose I should write about my experience?" 

She looked at the url of the blog. It was: "xiuying777happyplace.frogger.com". 

She had placed 7 triple times in a row to bless herself with good luck and fortune throughout her blogging journey, and Frogger was the blogging platform that took the world by storm in the beginning of the 2020's decade.

She got closer to the desk and started to write.

"Dear diary..

I just tried on the Special sparkle Cinnaheaven coordinate for the first time in my entire life. It's beautiful, and it's materials and fabric are very comfortable and organized. I am eternally grateful for this mere experience of wearing something like this, so god, please bless my stars.

It costed around 15,000 yen. Fortunately enough, I was able to save just enough in time for my birthdate! ≽∩•⩊•∩≼

Here are some photos! 

*insert some art of her here in said coordinates*

Besides that, I believe that was the most exciting highlight of my day. Thanks for reading my entry..

I love life! JOY IS INFINITE! ≽∩•⩊<∩≼"

She hit enter and submitted it immediately.

"And just like that, I have published my first post!" 

She paused for a minute before putting her feet up on her princess-like foot cushion. 

"Well.. the excitement had kind of faded away." she said with saddened looking eyebrows.

"I remember browsing other blogs with all sorts of advertisements on the side of the screen.. maybe I should invest some time looking into that?"

she thought to herself. 

*sighs*

She grasped the front of her chest a bit. 

"More passionate work as a new-time, half-time blogger!" She said with a determined look with stars rotating in her eyes.

And so this was the start of a new way of life for Xiu-Ying. 

Writer's Glee

 I guess something excited I gradually discovered while growing up is that there are writers, that write whole and complete stories that include their characters that later get animated and fall into the genre of "cartoons". There needs to be a subcategory/subgenre of animation out there, that's both a combination of anime and cartoons, that's what I believe my art style is.

Animating is an exciting experience, being able to color, sketch, storyboard and lineart everything.

I guess I feel like I can relax because I can just write stories including my characters, and not pressure myself to make a cartoon right away. Stories in cartoon episodes don't just appear out of thin air, there's a lot of components to it. Also.. I feel like it's best to tell yourself you're writing a "fanfiction" for your characters, not a "full pledged episode" to ease the stress a bit.

I'm not a cartoon fan

 When I refer to the last recent works in the past 20 years.. I am not a cartoon fan. in fact, I'm ashamed to even say that I may be a cartoon fan.

It's safe to say that a lot of cartoons out there is just stupid. Maybe I don't generally like cartoons. I like drawing them and looking at them in motion, but not maybe in an entire film because some cartoons are so dedicated to being "art" and "beautiful" that they do more than just be functional, like in my little pony G4. I admire the art style of G4 quite a lot, but for more than one reason than another, I can't find myself enjoying the show at all, and I believe the show has a horrid pacing problem. (I say as I write this on a MLP G4 blanket).

I absolutely despise Teen Titans Go. I really hate the show writers for projecting their horrible image on children on this show through their writing and ideas. It's a slap in the face to true teen titans fans that enjoyed the 2004 version. They really thought all the newer generation deserved was just ass, fart, vomit and general gross out jokes. I never enjoyed gross out humor. I can't help but believe that there's people out there that do self destructive nonsense and they project it onto the show as "entertainment" or some garbage..

I admit I did enjoy some earlier concepts of Teen Titans Go, such as a sleepover episode with all of the girls? It felt like wishful thinking. However, there was no reason to dumb down the original and structured beautiful designs of the 2004 version. I will forever despise TTG and I will never live it down. Maybe if I get merchandise of the 2004 version, maybe. =/

I don't like gross out humor.

I don't like modern Spongebob. The idiotic "new writers" have a thing for writing disgusting thing for children to watch. Not to mention the animation is absolutely lazy. The whole thing is so disrespectful to its creator. It makes you think twice before giving your heart to an industry you want to work in, not knowing it could forever be defaced, but at least there's beautiful memories of what once was.

I'm glad that I'm watching Mr. Enter more frequently right now because it's making me realize I should stop wasting energy on such frivolous trash. Sometimes I feel like he can't appreciate things, but reviewing cartoons and analyzing every little piece of it is his.. "job". 

That's why I don't look at things for my "Target demographic". It's a fucking joke to these executives doing god knows what. 

That's it for now.

PPG plushies

 :D

.:: angel xiu-ying ::.

 

Xiu-Ying & Her Blog

 Xiu-Ying is an adolescent weasel who's favorite past time is blogging. Watch her misadventures of trying to be one of the top bloggers on Frogger, the world's biggest blogging domain!

Characters

Ranka

• Species: Bat girl
• Appearance: Dark purple hair,  dark gray fur, light red eyes
• Hardcore Jirai Kei purist/follower (she only makes jirai kei content, but in the past had made other content)
• Backstory: Ranka had easily fit in her school years, in contrast to Xiu-Ying. A lot of people complimented her, which made her become vain and self absorbed, and couldn't realize that she was losing herself until it was too late. She turned to Jirai Kei because it's a glamorization of a messy life of a woman, and she felt that if she was being vulnerable by choosing this fashion subculture to represent, she can start being a honest and true to herself person again. She is pretty dysfunctional though.. she can't stop drinking diet soda and going on irresponsible sugar rushes. It's understandable if you're a bit afraid of her during these sugar rushes..

Timia

• Species: Deer
• Appearance: Has brunette fur with white speckles, light red hair, piercings on earrings
• Closet otaku
• Also a lesbian
• Backstory: She prefers to be alone. She is a bit of a lone wolf. It takes a kind soul to cause her to open up and show some warmth. 

Shermaine 

• Species: Guinea Pig
• Appearance: She has light blonde hair, and black fur.
• She is from Shenai, located in Asia.
• Backstory: She is spoiled. Her parents get everything that she asks for, when she doesn't destroy everything out of pure impatience. Because her parent's don't give her everything she wants instantly, she starts to blindly envy people who seem to have everything that she desires. She stalks girls with the same interests as her online. She doesn't have a lot of personality, even though she has many things that she likes, because those are things that merely look pretty to society but do not have a heavy value to her personally. She has no personality. The life she knows is merely copying trends. Since she has a weak semblance of self, she latches onto Xiu-Ying because she is like a princess to her, she encompasses everything that she wants to be personally, and not what society wants her to be: another ordinary, plain person in society.
• She has a little brother that often witnesses her terrorizing her parents.
• Her favorite Sanrio character is Kuromi.

Trivia

• Xiu-ying's domain is xiuying777happyplace.frogger.com
• Xiu-ying is a lesbian
• Ranka's domain is dark444kasumi.frogger.com
• Xiu-Ying's blog has black lace around the border where the text goes, and there's light and dark pink stripes where the words go on the lines. She writes in the grandstander font.
• Shermaine is studying Tourism.

Foods in their universe

• Boxed mice (like a box of chocolates, but there's ribbons around their neck)
• Bright Egg and Fish burger (there's a sunny side up egg inside of it o3o) 

Episodes (15 total; 3 segments) 

Episode 1

Pilot

• Xiu-Ying starts her blog and the audience is introduced to some backstory. 

No Adthoughts, Head Empty

• Xiu-Ying tries to get paid for her blog posts, but unfortunately she doesn't get accepted. This puts her in a dark purple jealous envy cloud that's only temporary, when she remembers all those other people that was accepted for Adthoughts (Her universe's equivalent of Adsense). She looks at her hobbies to see how she can generate avenue. 

Copy That, Copy-Cat

• Xiu-Ying encounters Shermaine, a copier on the wild net. 

Episode 2

Confidence Boost

• Xiu-Ying challenges herself to go outside in an elaborate Cinnheaven coordinate for the entire day and experience how life would be, as a Cinnaheaven princess. She goes out to eat her favorite food, run errands and takes a break to have some mini photoshoots. However, a surprise comes when she meets a... fan in the real world?

Accidental Enemy

• Xiu-Ying encounters a blogger, Ranka that's similar to her. However, her content is absolutely the opposite! A fan encourages them both to meet, even though Xiu-ying is most notably nervous, especially because even though they make similar content, their interests and aesthetics are exactly the opposite. They share a lot of favorite foods though, except Ranka would sit down and eat a entire sheet of cheese.

Life Achievement

Xiu-Ying in a Sanrio dresss

I have an idea for a sanrio character

 A girl who blogs on her free time. Her goal is to reach 100 followers by the end of the 3rd month. Through internet misadventures and communication issues, will she be able to reach her goal?!

The blog post is written at the end of the episode.

 Name: Xiu-Ying

Species: Humanoid Haida Ermine weasel

Age: 10 months old

(The series ends once she is 17 months old)

Height: 5'6

Nationality: Japanese-Scottish

Outfits

1: Angel (theme: lost angel girl)✅

2: Strawberry Bush (matching strawberry hairclips)

Her favorite foods

- Mice

- Tuna

- Sardines

- Burgers

- Sunny-side up Eggs

Eating her favorite food gives her ENERGY to turbo write something, although the combinations of her favorite meals is a bit pricey.

Hobbies

- J-fashion

- Bead bracelets/creations (hama beads/perler beads)

The ultimate design inspiration:

- Bonbonribbon (Her ribbons/bows)

- Aggretsuko (her personality/hobbies + retsuko's hobby is using the computer)

She can easily be the mascot for my subreddit, r/KawaiiBloggers! 

-This article is a WIP-

I don't know what I'm doing

 I think it's safe to say that maybe I don't know what I'm doing. I suppose I'm just living life? For some reason, I feel as though my life should be consistent and regulated, even though I'd lived a insanely unregulated life throughout my childhood, with no sense of order at all. 

Miku + Japanese music themed bracelet

 

 

colors: teal, light blue, black, white, light pink, light purple, 1 bright red

My first cosplay?

 

....

Well, it's kind of strange to say that "I cosplayed a Japanese school girl". I wore a seifuku! It was advertised as cosplay, so 0.0

Blogging is depressed friendly

 Blogging is friendly for the depressed. I don't feel like making videos like a giant youtuber because often times I don't feel like watching just anything, you know? I like blogging because I can easily write down how I'm feeling almost immediately. I will forever keep on blogging, no matter what assholes on the net have to say about me or my writing. You'd be surprised on how many people on the internet just simply cannot read lol :D

I guess that's it for now. Cya

Tired

 I just re-organized my entire room. I took some pointers from Feng Shui and placed my bed vertical towards the wall, before it was horizontal. Apparently, how my bed was before was a perfect feng shui placement but I wanted a change of scenery. I was satsified with how the bed came out, although I need to buy a net for my plushies.. putting them all in one corner of the bed wasn't exactly a good idea because they ended up on the dusty floor, and some of the plushies are pure white.

I feel tired because it's starting to sink in, inside of me that no matter how many nice things I buy (besides Japanese fashion and colored hair) I may not ever experience the happiness that I'm searching for. Some things are my fault, yes, but I feel like I've already been held accountable enough.

I'm tired but hopefully re-arranging my room has taught me something new. Although I'm still looking at the same surroundings, just re-arranged differently.

I don't think my brother deserves to see any of my belongings..

I hate how I can never finish anything. My brain becomes full of a fog of sorts and things have to be ended in a incomplete sense. I took a break from the laptop for a few hours and that made me realize how micro-obsessive I was being with a lot of things. I'm glad I took the break, even if being on your computer idlely is fun.

sigh

 i'm trying to write a fan novel about hhpay. i don't want to let the words of my friend get to me, saying that "i'm taking the show too seriously". i'm passionate about the show, that's what's happening..

what's in my way is that when i try to recall the personalities of the two main girls, and how they communicate, i just remember how illogical the show's writing is, and how one dimensionally cruel yumi is. even ami has more dimensions than yumi, so i think ami could've possibly been more of a worker's favorite than yumi. yumi is a fan favorite for more reasons than one, but. still.

i guess i should just write the characters as how i'd like them to be.

there's something really strange about naming the cartoon girls exactly after real people.. the creator of the show has absolutely a projection problem that knows no bounds.

ami onuki

(my headcanon of how they are)

 - compassionate, but is able to show boundaries

- thoughtful

- will only act spiteful if a dominant force is doing the same thing

- a little implusive, but it's a personal tidbit that she copes with by herself

- bashful

- likes to be reclusive at times

- likes to take it easy

- she is from the countryside of japan

- likes: bunnies, nature, tranquility, walks in the park, casual conversations

- dislikes: rudeness/rude people in general, large crowds

yumi yoshimura

- brave

- a bit more ruthless than her counterpart

- creative

- she is from the bustling cities of japan

- likes: attention, going on adventures

- dislikes: being away from ami for long (platonically)

so with this information alone, i hope to write efficient characters.

bye-bye-boo

My gemsona, Topaz

 

Birthday/Creation date: November 18th

Weapon: a circular device that once the flower button is pressed, the switchblades are exposed. There is a hand strap behind the weapon.

Personality: Gentle, thoughtful, witty

Languages: Japanese, English

(This can't really be a redesign because I lost the notebook I had in 2015-16 that had her original design)

understanding the feelings of fomo

 it's easy for me to feel like i'm missing out on something, even if i look at things from the past. i confused people who have tried to help me about bringing up that "phenomena" but it was difficult to describe. now, not so much, fortunately.

i feel a bit envious when watching cartoons of the past because at the end of the day, there was a team that got together to create something, for you to enjoy, a person of the future. i wish i could meet new people and collaborate on something like that, but it doesn't necessarily have to be cookie cutter, if that makes any sense. like, ideally perfect, because a lot of flaws can be charming too. not necessarily intentional flaws.

i hope to feel better soon now that i'm in college and everything.

i want to be happy, and now i'm able to pinpoint what that means.  i want to fricking live.

that's it. bye

Episode Review: Gem Glow

 I found myself reviewing Steven Universe. I want to let go of any confusions and feelings left hanging in the air about this show. I have a lot of mixed feelings about it. I really want to write down my emotions about it instead of just holding onto these confused emotions and end up sounding so close minded about it. 

Even though I know a good amount of the lore, I'm putting myself through this purgatory because, the show has finally ended and I can finally like, watch everything in a few sittings and re-analyze everything. It's been literal years since I watched most of the episodes. 

Steven Universe is also a great source of creativity for me. I had a gemsona that was themed after my birthstone, who oddly enough had a crush on Lars. 

With all of that being said, these reviews aren't spoiler friendly.

Anyways, let's get started, shall we? -w-

The intro

So first things first. Honestly something that I've never really spoken about is how uncomfortable the character designs make me. Just because a show is a cartoon doesn't mean that all proportions should be over-exaggerated. I really hate Garnet's design because when I look at Ruby and Sapphire's designs, the character designer seemed to be going towards a "cutesy" design and such, and then when I look at Garnet, there's no reflection of that except for her third eye. I think it's horrible character design because I feel like the designer is projecting how they feel about dark-skinned women onto their art. Just a thought. I don't like how she's so beefy and like, therefore "should be understood as the almighty powerful" person in the room. I know that a black woman had provided a voice for her but I'm so against Garnet's existence. This show is so anti-progressive, no wonder people once labelled as edgelords honestly hated it. 

It feels though as if someone was drawing a masculine body type, and then added some thighs and hips to make it "more feminine". I get that Garnet is a "black coded" character but we saw how you created Connie's design, so.. 

was it really necessary to create this "leaning dark-skin sexy" character? 🤢

I feel like Ruby's influence overbares on Sapphire's influence within Garnet's character a bit. It's sort of shown in their relationship dynamic as well. 

Considering my body type, I guess I'm pretty petite but I really identified with Amethyst's personality and Sapphire's proportions. She has like, the best character design, or one of the best. I feel like the team of this show has regressed in a totally not so cute way. They didn't experiment enough with character designs and color palettes until much later in the show, which has created some fun to illustrate characters admittedly, but this show literally has a dumpster fire of problems that should be presented to the fandom honestly in a gentle light, not in a harsh "THIS SHOW IS SOOOO STUPID AND HERE'S WHY." (referring to one of the.. commentators who went a bit viral for describing the show as such). The show is a bunch of red flags disguised as a good intentional show. Just, eugh.

Anyway, time to keep watching this..

I thought it was worth talking about it because sometimes Garnet's existence in the show made me want to stop watching the show at times, quite often than even I have really acknowledged..

This intro kind of reinforced my love for hot dogs, not gonna lie.

The episode itself

I kinda admit the ground shaking when Steven says "noooo!" is pretty funny. Did they get inspiration from GoAnimate videos or something? lmao

I get that the writers are trying to provoke "charm" in the series by showing Steven's misadventures and adventures of both adolescence and growing up as a half-gem human all at once for each episode.. but I would've preferred it if there was some type of like, "Gem training academy" for people like Steven. I know that Steven is one of a kind but these awkward kiddy moments never really appealed to me, if anything I found them really weird and strange. The expressions made me cringe. A lot. That's why I spent most of my time watching Splatoon rather than watching the show again most of the time.

I guess that's a idea for a fanfiction and I can re-design Topaz, my birthstone character. Not going to lie to you, it's really hard to be creative with just a few pictures of one gem.

The animation, especially with the cherry blossom petals is really beautiful. However, that scene has a slight glint of "dumbing things down for their target audience". Hell, adult shows face this a lot more than a lot of other people realize..

I know the soundtrack is something that you're supposed to "love", but it's honestly making me cringe because I feel like they added these "hyper composed beautiful short seconds of music" within the scene to make up for a lack there-of, so there's insecurity in the work..

I guess Steven is truly in a unique position, where all of the gems that surround him just try their best to educate him on how to utilize his gem, and all of the struggles that come with it. Maybe I can learn a thing or two from the mistakes of the filler episodes, too.

It's that scenario where we can see the gems break down from pressure or similar things, such as emotional stress from the situation and other instances. Not specifically their actual gem, but their mental state. So it seems an almost perfect platform for the writers to show what's at stake emotionally for them, and other obstacles. 

I still wish there was a more structured approach to learning how to summon your weapon, though.

Pearl accidentally comes across as a know-it-all in that scene instead of like, being full of wisdom and passion. I would've rewritten the scene a bit more, just like how a few fans had already done.

I hate how the crystal gems act as if they are just like, characters that just happen to be friends instead of individuals that know each other for hundreds and thousands of years. Also.. it makes Amethyst come across as an after-thought character, my favorite character when I was growing up.

I also don't really like how we're just introduced to "beautiful breathtaking landscape" without any information being put out about that if we didn't read the fan wiki during it's broadcast to the world. WE NEED INFORMATION IN ORDER TO FIND IT BEAUTIFUL.

*sighs and takes more notes*

I feel like the animators are still in that phase of "let's animate something impressive in order to get hired" mindset for this first episode. Garnet has a meaningless segment of showing off how to summon her weapons, that don't showcase her personality at all, unless her personality is just.. "flashy". 

So like. I start to like some of the musical segments later on in the show. It's gentle and well-intentioned, and introduces to the viewer the space theme of the show quite easily during supposed light hearted moments. So I can understand why those musical composers took the gig to work on this show, really.

Garnet is so useless as a character-

I feel like the team has a huge projection problem I just can't put my finger on, and they need to work on that. It definitely got worse over time. They need therapy. If not, more therapy. lol

Lol this is making me think and realize that I don't really like Cartoon Network at all if this was it's identity when I was around 9-10 years old. The target demographic for the shows I worshiped from yesteryear (the 2000s). I think I enjoy anime more than I realize. CN is honestly overrated and rots the minds of the youth, especially yours if you're not careful. I know I sound like a anti-TV/anything mother but they weren't wrong in that approach. 

I admit this episode definitely has a very 2015 feel (it was probably produced in 2014 though) and it's a bit nice to revisit those feelings but I'm not sure. Time to time again I realize how much life is a void, even during "those best days" so you better fill up your room with valuable nitnacks, or something..

Something I've learnt from a youtube show reviewer is that, like it's okay to know the names, the real life names of the people who helped make your "Favorite" cartoon a reality. But not okay to like, completely point them out and criticize them openly. I was learning the names of some of my favorite storyboard artists on their work tumblr page, but I didn't want to intrude on their privacy. I will be taking note on them though, for inspiration.

I'm not falling for this sappiness at all. GEEZ. I rather watch MLP:FiM. 

The outro

The outro is iconic and fun to listen to, rather if you're feeling light hearted or really depressed. The credit scene is nice. Even if it does resurface memories of getting bullied and being treated really unfairly. 

At least I'm healing.

Overall rating: 3.5/5

Let's go eat sushi watch anime or something.

Bye Bye Boo.

- Mod Cassandra

how to find yourself completing anime

 ❀ pace yourself

i think as we were introduced more into the internet age, it became more easier for us to hyper consume anime in one sitting. anime is still being broadcasted on tv, and the episode airing dates are spaced out typically on a random weekday in a week, so viewers and fans can catch a episode every week. i used to watch cartoons and even anime on television by catching it on the scheduled time the network had placed it on.

so what i would recommend doing is that you research the anime that you are watching, and see what weekday it was airing on. you can make a schedule or place it on your calendar for the assigned day the show is meant to be airing. 

i thought something was genuinely wrong with me when i started to become overwhelmed watching a lot of anime in one sitting. i also started to have a poor attention span when it came to starting shows and leaving within 10 minutes. sometimes that happened because i was uncomfortable, though or it didn't hook me in enough. i try to push myself to watch a bit more with cute art styles and good reviews, but i just end up leaving.

but then when i think back to my childhood, i realize that it was a bit normal that i started to feel overwhelmed. i never got into marathons of tv shows that often unless it was for a show i really wanted to learn more about, like my little pony (yes, i know that is not a anime..!!).

❀ check into how you are feeling

you wouldn't want to watch a tragic psychological anime while you feel lighthearted and happy, and you wouldn't want to watch a light hearted show while you feel heartbroken, unless you are sure that it can mend your heart. try to look at shows that match your mood, so you won't feel as if this show is not for you. 

❀ exposure therapy

if you want to watch a specific anime because you are in love with the art style and/or concept idea, i think watching a similar anime might be best firsthand because even though it can be love at first sight, the tropes within that initial anime might be too overwhelming for you as a newbie to that genre. there's always a inspiration from something before the biggest defining anime releases. 

i think it's best to watch similar anime first because you are exposed to familiar concepts, which can help you adore the traits of those types of anime, more. you shouldn't rush into it by watching a completely different-like anime then watching the anime of your dreams. it can also help you remember certain traits of the anime.

congratulations! you've reached the end of this video. so i hope that this video was helpful for you. go watch some animes now, yeahh >:D

- cassandra-chan

God dammit

 I wish that I could make a video about something, but I don't know what. Making videos comfort me to an extent, but not a super intense. I feel like somehow my brain has been damaged or something from all of this unfairness, uncertainty and trauma.

I want to make a video with VHS effects, and cool dark color overlays

I don't know what would be the gist of the video though

I don't have any spoons to do anything. I can't watch anime for long period of time (apparently, this is normal), I can't create any digital art whatsoever, I can only create traditionally and more stuff. 

I'm just existing on the edge of the earth by just watching fandom drama and other stuff. I don't know why I barely have any energy. I wish I had a lot of energy.

Even more criticism on HHPAY

 So yeah. Since HHPAY is one of my favorite cartoons of all time, it's simply easy to criticize it on areas where it falls through the cracks.

I tried to draw fanart for the HHPAY pilot, many, many times.. 

but I can't help but feel incredibly underwhelmed when I try to replicate it's art style. Replicating the official show art style just feels like work, and wondering how do vectors work when trying to replicate them on.. pen and paper.

It just doesn't feel like a right and adequate representation of their personalities that are showcased in the series, like, at all. 

So, uh..

here's how i would illustrate them. however, here's a textual description of a scene from the pilot, first.

Ami's eyes were vibrant and filled with glee as she lifted one of the luminous, red pom-poms in the air. She shouted her cheer for the football team in a musical way, projecting her voice for the entire crowd to hear.

These eyes don't really reflect her vibrant nature at all.. her pupils are purely dark black.

I hate to be this person when critiquing art but.. I used to be a beginner at art too, still kind of am in some areas.. and the art style looks honestly rushed for most of it's screen time. I feel like it's trying to achieve a "Kellogs commercial mascot" sort of appeal. I guess they ran out of time to work on the designs, more?

The eye style is also inconsistent. Sometimes it's a round circle, and other times it's a half oval. It's just too confusing for fan artists. 

The clothing designs seemed to have only catered to the creators. Absolutely nothing about it expresses "Japanese" to me, it's too overarching in a generic way. We can tell that Ami is loving without her having a excessive amount of hearts on her clothes.. and I suppose Yumi's clothes communicates to the viewer that.. her sarcasm.. is.. deadly?

I really don't like the character designs at all, now that I thought about it more deeply..

In conclusion.. this show just needs better artistic direction.

-end-

Just Stop.

 No, not the commentary youtuber.

I finally realized what I needed to do. Create. Create even if the concept is small or very large. Draw. Write even if the premise is completely confusing or irritating to others. I need to be more self indulgent for crying out loud. I still feel myself holding back and I really wish I didn't. I can draw practically anything so why can't I just enjoy myself and my talent while I'm still here?

I got inspired by, of all things, MrEnter's book. I was inspired by the art of the protagonist wearing to be what looks like to be a magical girl-esque outfit. She wears several of those. Although I'm not really a fan of hyper simplified artwork, it was charming enough to inspire and move something within me.

I shouldn't have asked for criticism because the advice I received practically crumbled any excitement and fun I would be having with the story if it wasn't for their lame advice.. now my story is parked in a dead end instead of nearing it's completion as a manga because they recommended it to be written like a novel, first. Sometimes you just need to draw proof-of-concept illustrations.

That's it for now..

- Sweet Kuroneko