God dammit

 I wish that I could make a video about something, but I don't know what. Making videos comfort me to an extent, but not a super intense. I feel like somehow my brain has been damaged or something from all of this unfairness, uncertainty and trauma.

I want to make a video with VHS effects, and cool dark color overlays

I don't know what would be the gist of the video though

I don't have any spoons to do anything. I can't watch anime for long period of time (apparently, this is normal), I can't create any digital art whatsoever, I can only create traditionally and more stuff. 

I'm just existing on the edge of the earth by just watching fandom drama and other stuff. I don't know why I barely have any energy. I wish I had a lot of energy.