✿So.. my thoughts regarding 🔪kogama

 this game was surprisingly life changing for me.

so i was thinking of returning to the game, and being a livestreamer or at the very least, a youtuber when it comes to the game. 

sometimes when i see minecraft footage, it really comforts and calms me down, but only because it reminds me of kogama, lol. i played that game in late elementary school through around my second year of middle school.

it's just that, i didn't know how to not be very vulnerable when playing the game. admittedly, the website was crawling with creepy predators. that game really molded me into the person i am now, especially with my behavior online. 

i got into trouble with my parents so many times with this game, and yet, at my big age [18], i'm thinking of re-visiting it.

i just sketched a avatar i'm going to make in the game. 

i like kogama admittedly more than minecraft because i like how easy it was to make avatars. it felt like you were making your own 3d model by yourself by scratch on like blender or something when you're just editing pre-made avatars. but it was easy to feel proud of yourself.

i have a friend that won't stop talking about the game, so fine, i will revisit it. it's just that,  now that my artistic mind has developed more and became mature, i'll be able to think more deeply about the games and the models i want to create, and not feel like my mind is getting violated whenever someone is making a deriative of it or something. 

i've met a lot of different people, that stuck with me for 10 years. i'm ready to meet new people. so i admit that kogama made me happy, but what fueled my love-hate relationship with the darn game is the inconsistent behavior of how people treated me in the game and their personalities. i understand that we were all children when we played the game, but there are literal parents who play minecraft by theirselves, too. despite this, i was often treated unfairly. 

i need to think about how i'd like to be perceived in the game, but maybe not too deeply. i don't want to change my username, although i'm already thinking of cuter username alternatives..  i can make my profile more neat though, that's for sure..

that's it for now. i can't spend too much time on this game like what i was doing before.. i secretly hope for it to never shut down purely because of the avatar creator. i admit that this stupid fucking game is a part of me, so i hope to make new memories. i'm stronger now, but that game and it's chat system, and messaging system makes you god's strongest warrior.. but it also really changes your perception of life as well.

also.. it's hard to see people separate from their avatar and persona on kogama. the more you get to know that person, the more you understand them individually.. 

being on that cursed site, kind of let me know and be aware of a lot of different things i had no idea existed. furries, my family actually abusing me, problems in the real world and more. so thats why im returning to hopefully let myself let go and move onto something like a full-on dedication to animal crossing or stardew valley or something.

goodbye.