people are so idiotic on social media

 honestly.. what do you want? what do you want.

i don't like it when people make posts that involve harmful generalizations, and then they make the spotlight zoom in on them as if they're the only person in the world that is away from that generalization, as if they can do no wrong and if they have no hatred in their heart. it's SO stupid and it's so non-effective from whatever happy positive goal they are trying to achieve.

that's why i'm starting to hate instagram. it's full of attention seekers. at least tiktok is just for fun cosplays, and spreading information. i feel like as a musician you shouldn't be on tiktok, but that's another conversation for another time.

my theory is this. you can ONLY be happy on instagram if you're a privileged spoiled kid that have family or some partner that buys everything for you that you ask for (how do people have rooms full of expensive merchandise while they're in middle school to high school..?) or you're an adult that has moved out of their parents' house and has a well-paying job to sustain their hobbies and interests. you might be thinking, "how can the adult have free time to post online when they have a job?" well that's what their free time is used for, i guess, posting several second videos on there.

some mind trick i see people online use to empower theirselves, is just find some generalized harmful sentence that probably CAME FROM THEIR MIND most likely instead of some coward online, and then do something that shows that their impossible is possible. like.. "[ethnic group of] girls can't do x" and then they do it. i mean good for them because it's empowering and escaping generalizations in their head?? but you'd be surprised how much young minds online absorb everything they read, and they don't need to read your harmful generalization online when you're trying to make people more open minded. 😐

instagram is not even worth following people for their appearance because im sorry but a lot of peoples minds are rotting inside of their bodies. you can tell in the captions..

the internet is such in a pathetic state for the early 2020s. but i hate to make too many generalizations. my ex-friend told me that i just live in a fantasy world, better than being depressed and hurting myself, probably the reality she wants for me. i'm glad that i understand myself to not make social media a self-harming atmosphere for me but like, even then i have to routinely tune my following and block list. 

people are honestly so mean on instagram, and it's just their subconscious acting. imagine seeing THEIR CONSCIOUS in action. you might also think, why did i even join this place if i seem to see right through other's idiotic and harmful intentions? especially when it's hurting my peace.

well..

i might've joined that place to prove something, i suppose. prove to the world that i can be my own person instead of someone forcing me to be something that i'm not, unhappy and unconfident. that's why i'm not super obsessed with my follower count, although i had a goal before possibly deactivating. i archived memories on there. what made me feel frustrated was my "friend" who said all those awful things about me and i'm tired of condoning it just because i need a friend in my life. 

it's easy to be obsessed with social media because you see a whole lot of things and reminders of stuff that makes you happy, but it feels hurtful or destructive because you are not the one possessing those things. that's when things like "evil eye" comes into play because people want to protect theirselves from "envy" and "jealousy" when they are the ones putting theirselves out there in the first place for whatever reason..

people are funny. they say they want to see more of this thing, trend, aesthetic, whatever, so people supply the command and then it becomes a commodity in society - another description for a trend. then they hate how this once underrated thing became popular. what do you w a n t .

i guess everything that disappoints me, or makes me wish for a better present in a time already passed, ill just filter away from my instagram feed. i don't want to deactivate because i like my username, actually.

so here are my wishes

- i wish i had straight white hair

- i wish i had metal reflective belts

- i wish i had lace up sneakers to heal my younger self

- i wish i had perler bead necklaces

- i wish i can draw on my eyebrows but for years everyone tells me that my eyebrows are shaped perfectly (they're natural) so i probably won't be doing that anytime soon 

call me crazy, call me insecure, call me stupid, but i don't care, as long as i'm alive, and i am happy. oh and if i get my monthly intake of salmon--

i will just use my blog as my fucking instagram ^D^

you know being on social media since like 2019 fairly regularly has reshaped my view of a ideal, "living my best life" belief. im glad im a simple person and didnt absorb everything social media tried to teach me, because not all lessons are necessary for a simple life. i don't really like super extreme things. it's just that people's massive view of "living my best life teehee" is way more simpler than what they make it out to be, especially if they're doing something that you were once doing too.

youtube has given me a more healthier understanding and a birds eye view of an ideal life. i saw videos of people's daily routines and it slowed down what i really wanted in my life organically, not from social media. they just molded their life essentially by catering to what they need to do and customizing it to how they like it, nothing more nothing less. i was inspired in a sense but i'm still trying to get that good quality of life balance in my life. i already have a good laptop and psp so that's nice.

also i fucking hate jojo fans and i hate how they act like they're hot shit anywhere they go. sit down and read something else for a change

ok bye