And Just Like That

    :: A flame has been sparked anew, once more. I'm back to loving "retro" Japanese things from my childhood in general, and soon all of the American entertainment that I've been exposed to during my time alive. It's not a cruel reminder of you anymore. Even though I acted only with close stressed eyes during our time apart, was you distancing yourself from me a sign to make my life better? Did you just want me to live a happier life without you because you were the problem? I partially hate how I have enough maturity to understand, rather than not understand, but I rather understand than be stuck in a rut, emotionally suffering in circles..

Goodbye, F. I'm not sure what to say about our happy memories, because it seemed to be judged by a useless third party, but since he is useless, they don't define the happy times we once had. This is too much stress though, even for me. I feel like a small animal forced to run on an exercise wheel repeatedly until my heart explodes. The biggest scientific failure is that you didn't give yourself a chance, but I guess I will never know nor understand why you left me.

I loved you.