- the journey (for now) -

 :: hello. I have wanted to write a post like this since.. this morning, ahahaha. (￣▽￣;)

this will have a lot of face reveals in it. What moved me to make a blogpost like this was a video by one of my favorite influencers, Rune. It was basically a video about how to let yourself live in natural beauty, and how to stop letting people and insecurities get in your way.

it was a great video and I'll surely be rewatching it in the future. anyways, I'll get the post started now.. ☆

December-January 2024

● it was around this time I was experimenting with how I viewed myself, I suppose in a artistic lens. Here is a self portrait of me, while experimenting with eye makeup. I added a cogimyun hairclip because just like her, i absolutely love shrimp and she became my top no.1 favorite sanrio character.

I later was able to receive cogimyun hairclips in the mail a few months later♡ 

unfortunately, sometime before that, some trauma happened related to the online world that I have acknowledged in one of my videos. I'm unsure if I will link it within this post.

May 2024

● I was able to get pink hair.. well, sort of. My hair was able to be braided with a pink color. 

I chose to write 「夢子」 on my face as that was the name of my fursona. It was also to be symbolic, trying to say that I was a child of dreams, because this is the first time i had color in my hair especially publicly and that was acne start for me.

It was also around the time that I was trying to pursue being a net idol. My musical persona had pink hair, so I was trying to achieve that look during that time in my life, but the hair dressers misunderstood my request and mixed the pink hair in with black hair. It's fine, next time i can just correct them, I suppose.

The name of the musical personality was melody, so my melody's existence went hand in hand with it. She was like a unofficial mascot but I felt grateful and happy for that.

I was on instagram to promote my music and artwork associated with my music in hope to meet people who will hopefully enjoy my singing. I also took the time to share my meals with my friends, both online and real life, such as this tempura vegetables meal. 

I was able to obtain more j-fashion pieces and shared photos of me wearing said jfashion onto my Instagram, but I felt uncomfortable with the attention so I privated the photos. 

Here is me wearing a mezzo piano t-shirt with my pink hair :D

Maybe next time I'll have brunette and pink hair~🎶

Does wearing studio ghilbi tees count as j-fashion? It surely must be, at least in my book. o3o)

I was sharing outfits of the day on instagram.

Misc.

● This was a photo I took while recovering from my mental health. This was also the first photo I uploaded on instagram. I should've used the app as a private photo diary, and now as an afterthought I wish I was blogging instead, but I was healing from the online harassment I was facing from earlier that month. 😮‍💨

I was also experimenting with my hairstyles, finally after years of being told that I'm only allowed to look one way when it comes to society.

I took this photo in particular when I was feeling down, so I was hoping that accessorizing and dressing up could help my mood a bit more. I recorded a funny video that would hopefully garner a few likes and support, but I didn't really receive much of anything, and that's fine. lol

I was dressing up to represent my personal character that I drew often, Yuni or Snowy-chan, but due to some online complications, I couldn't go forward with that dream, so I had to close up shop and move on from that concept. I will forever cherish the artifacts I made for that idea, though..

I was invited to outings more, and I brought my 3DS with me. It led to a few interesting conversations, but no one really sat down and played with me, which is okay. I was happy to have some conversations such as Miku's clothing here, and other thoughts.

I was also able to purchase a lot of nice things.  This particular keychain, was produced in 2000 and became mine when I was born. It surprised me that it came from America, from a Mcdonald's all those years ago. I'm glad it became mine, and I've tried my best to take good care of it over the years. Hopefully my daughter (I have no children atm) can inherit it or something.

Can friendly kitties eat strawberry pockies?

I was able to obtain this manga. I heard this was the favorite series of my favorite J-pop idol.

Current day

● It's safe to say that I've been turning the tides quite frequently when it comes to my mental health, and I am proud of myself and my own progress. I can finally tackle my creative projects, and animate more frequently. I can also focus on school as well.

Me in a Korilakkuma hoodie.

I was even able to fulfill my dream of getting a PSP, in one of my dream colors as well, so I am eternally grateful for that.

Thank you for reading. Here's for 3 more months of the year...!! HOME-STRETCH~!

-- Mod Cassandra