how i want to rebrand my youtube channel

 i have two youtube channels.

one is for music and gaming, and the other is for my personal life, so that's where i'd upload vlogs, makeup tutorials and more. i don't mind my personal channel, i'm honestly proud of it. what irks me about my first channel is that i don't want people to know my first name, but it's fused in with my gaming? i used to have just a gaming channel before but i found it kind of shallow that people only supported my gaming and i wanted to get support in other areas. that's in the past, though.

i don't know how to rebrand TT . TT

it's nothing urgent but i need something to do besides play video games, collect cute clothing and do my assignments. i'll try to be more of a youtuber. i also have another channel thats just a archive of everything i posted from 2015-2023 because i used to have a account on my father's email when i was really young but he deleted it. that was meant to be a internet commentary channel but my personal one can easily be a general commentary channel.

i only have one favorite influencer right now and that's theofficialabi. she's great and nothing should ever get her down. i love her videos, i just hope she's happy wherever she is on this planet.

so i want to make videos like her, too. i guess i just need one giant channel as a whole, i always admired those type of channels, but at the end of the day, a youtube channel is a comfortable and cozy abode for your creations. my blog is already a safe haven for my art and images that i'd love to share with the world, so yeah.

i can't help but feel frustrated or misunderstanding why people post certain things onto youtube. it's easy to feel envious or angry at people being at a area in life that you desperately want to be, especially when you guys are around the same age, but i know it's better to never send it towards that person's way. 

it's just, i'm tired. 

i have so many youtube channels and i just want one. 

so i guess i'm going to have to push myself to only share things on one channel, and not switch channels so often. i always felt like someone was following me online. now realizing that i have a stalker since 2014, it makes sense. i wish i wasn't so triggered to make more accounts that end up as self-expression portals, though. well, im glad we can private videos.

just remember that even though "the internet never forgets" you are the only one feeling that cringe towards yourself. a image is just a collection of pixels within a computer. do anything you can to ease that discomfort for yourself..

this is the videos id like to make

• Tamagotchi care vlogs
• showcasing my physical manga
• video game videos as a whole
• showcasing my original music

it's all too complicated but its not like i can literally take a break from youtube.. can i?

oh well. i'll come back to this ><

i guess what also matters is how i appear on there too. its easy to want to be a cute girl on there, but for what? fortunately, i have met someone that appreciates me and treats me well, just what i needed in today's economy so i don't think i'll be dressing really cutely, even though it falls into some of my "aesthetics". at the same time i can't really dress how i would for school even though i'd shared a lot of my outfits before online because i don't want strangers to come up to me while i'm on the way to school saying "hey are you ___??". my school fortunately doesn't have a uniform but i want to keep my private life safe. so i suppose i can dress up in clothing and makeup that's super cute to me but not suitable for everyday wear. especially for my safety..

i wish i'd had a cool area of my room that didn't say too too much about me but is suitable for videos and whatnot. i guess i just need to get some type of tapestry to put behind me for my videos.

i guess that's it for now.  fashion videos honestly give me a headache. whats the point of showing your best self all the time for unappreciative people that honestly just visit your page just to copy you and use you as a stepping stone for success? that's just how i see it. it feels way too personal.

well bye bye.