Toxic Hard Worker Mentality?

 I know that this is a common theme in Japanese society, where people's hard work defines them to their very core, but to be honest, I don't know too much about this enduring issue.

I finally realized my alignment with this issue, even though I'm not from Japan. 

I have a hard time relaxing as a whole, because my family members always criticized me for laying down in my free time, especially after a long day of school. They viewed it as me being incredibly lazy, even though I just wanted to relax. Now the wires in my brain are really crossed and confused. 

My idea of relaxing is always convoluted with doing something, but there are times where my mind really needs a good downtime, not just during times where it needs to sleep. 

I'm trying to unlearn that toxic mentality, but it's hard. Should I really be working on my manga, and blog in the morning? Plus, video games are for the afternoon and evening, not for the morning as soon as I wake up.

Thanks to my family shaming me for just practically existing, it's kind of hard to function.

I realized that I like to keep productive to avoid any depressing thoughts,  and I constantly surround myself in a world of inspiration for my current ideas and work. I just wish I can go back to truly relaxing, not being demanded to play some music or something. And yes, I do exercise, too, so I'm not trying to be "Totally lazy".